My Little Trooper
by XxSkyler CrossxX
Summary: Gazzy wants to become a man so he goes to Fang Iggy for help... that shoud've been a red flag right there. one-shot Post MAX.


**Hay, hay, hay!!!! So yup, this is my 2****nd**** one-shot!!!!! Wooo hoooo!!!!! So I'll shut up now so you can read. I don't own Maximum Ride**

**Fang pov:**

The flock was staying at Dr. M's house, helping her get back on her feet after the whole Mr. Chu thing. Iggy and I are helping her carry in her groceries like the good little helpers we were. Angel looked at me and diddled. Great now she's probably going to tell Max and then I'm never going to hear the end of it. On the bright side Max finally realized she likes me back! I'm really glad things aren't awkward between us anymore. Crap, now I sound like that body glitter guy from Dusk or something. By the time my internal ranting is over Iggy and I have managed to bring in the rest of the bags and set them on the table.

"It's nice to have strong men around the house," Dr. M said, causing Max to burst out in hysterics, real subtle Max.

"Oh yeah, they're real manly men!" Max spazzed out. I glared at her retreating figure as it went to go watch T.V in the other room.

"Well anyways thank you guys it was very generous of you two," Dr. M said as she went to her room to do... whatever she does. Gazzy came in the room and looked around uncomfortably.

"Hey guys, if I ask you something will you promise not to laugh?"He said.

_Oh God please don't ask about "funny feelings"._

"We promise," Iggy said, I just nodded.

"How do I become a man?"He asked.

Okay now I'm really confused, "What?" I asked. Seriously how do you answer a question like that?

"Dr. M just called you guy's men. How do I become one?" Gazzy said trying to get us to understand.

"Yeah but yesterday she also said that George Clooney was cleaning her teeth," Iggy said. Yeah so as it turns out we are not very good at measuring out pain meds, especially in a rush. But I mean you can't really blame us we've been to school for like a total of what 3 months?

"So? Other people have called you guys men before too. How do I become one?" Gazzy must be really serious about this whole 'becoming a man' thing.

"Why don't you go ask Total, this is more of his area of expertise," I said, _and because we have no idea._

*~*~*~*~*look how pretty I am!~*~*~*~*~*~*my fingers hurt!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~time jump~*

At dinner Gazzy had a look on his face that said he was either concentrating really hard on something or, his potatoes just insulted his mother and he was trying to kill them with his mind….my non-existent money is on the first on.

After dinner Iggy and I stopped Gazzy in the hallway again.

"Yo Gazzy, what did Total say?" What! I'm curious. (**AN: my computer is really uneducated it doesn't know what 'yo' is! Just thought I should let you guys know!) **

"He said that in ancient times in order to become a man a boy must save a fair maiden from a beast (**AN no clue if this is true but let's pretend it is)**. But then Max slapped him and told him not to be sexist and that it doesn't have to be a fair maiden that this is the 21st century and woman have been doing fine without nights and blah blah blah," Gazzy said.

"Well good luck with that Gaz!" I said trying to get out of there as fast as I could, and I could hear Iggy right behind me.

"Wait so you're just going to leave me hanging? I need to become a man! I need to save someone!" He shouted.

"Offer teaching Max how to cook! You could save us all!" Iggy shouted back. In 3,2,1 SMACK!

"Shut up Iggy!" Max yelled as she was going back to her room after smacking Iggy upside the head.

~~~~~*********~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~sleepy time for Fangy********~~~~~~~~~~~~*********

I woke up and went downstairs for breakfast. I saw Gazzy there still looking puzzled.

"Hey Gazzy, saved anyone yet?" I asked.

"No, I can't find anything to save someone from!" He said, "The one time I need someone to be endanger everyone is safe!" poor kid.

"I watched a T.V show were a guy saved a girl from a giant snake you could try that," I offered. Although he might have a hard time trying to find a giant snake in Arizona.

And with that we walked out to the back yard were everyone else was. I saw Nudge turn over to look at Max and she screamed. Everyone looked around expecting to see flyboys or something. But it was Gazzy who yelled "DIE DIE DIE!" and started stopping on the ground in between Max and Nudge. I walked over and looked down when I was sure there was no danger anywhere else. Sure enough there on the ground were the stepped on remains of a poor unfortunate garden snake. _Huh I never knew Nudge was afraid of snakes?_

I saw Max walk up to me and smile, "I wonder if I should tell him that Nudge was screaming out of terror at my outfit and not the snake?" she said. I just chuckled and looked over at Gazzy who was doing a victory dance and was screaming 'I'm a man!!'

"Not unless you want your clothes to end up like that snake," I replied.

"True. So what now? I have 3 men in my flock?" Max asked.

"Apparently," I said smiling.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Only 3?! What about me?" Total said it like we just called him a cat or something.

Max and I just laughed.


End file.
